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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Making waves on WeChat:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Going viral on Telegram:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Trending via WhatsApp:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Spreading quickly via X:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Funny sexual tension quotes

Funny sexual tension quotes bring all the cheeky vibes and playful sparks that make those moments irresistibly awkward and hilarious 😏🔥 Whether it’s that lingering glance or the witty banter that leaves you blushing, these quotes capture the fun side of flirting without saying a word 😉💬 Get ready to laugh, blush, and maybe even relate to that deliciously teasing vibe! 💥💕

New funny sexual tension quotes 👇

All funny sexual tension quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Just shared via X:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Trending via Threads:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Live now on Slack:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Going bananas on Threads:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Making waves on Reddit:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Trending via Instagram:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

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