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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Making waves on Threads:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Just shared via Facebook:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Breaking via Messenger:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Live now on Twitch:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Shared recently on Threads:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Spotted on Reddit:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Just shared via X:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Making waves on Slack:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Just landed via WeChat:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Not going is the new leaving early.

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