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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Trending via Discord:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Going viral on X:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Making waves on Pinterest:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Going viral on Slack:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WeChat:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Just landed via Instagram:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Shared recently on Reddit:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Just shared via TikTok:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Just landed via YouTube:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Just landed via Threads:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

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