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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Shared recently on X:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Making waves on Threads:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Broadcasted on Threads:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Spotted on Telegram:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Breaking via Discord:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

14 Funny skinny quotes

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All funny skinny quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

43 shares on Slack this month:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

10 shares on X this month:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Spotted on Discord:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You are the Monday of my life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Going bananas on X:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

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