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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Live now on Reddit:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Live now on TikTok:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Live now on WeChat:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Making waves on Instagram:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Going viral on Twitch:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Going viral on YouTube:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Trending via Slack:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Just shared via X:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Making waves on Snapchat:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Live now on Pinterest:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Making waves on TikTok:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Seen just now on Threads:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

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