Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Commentary:
"If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much. But alas, the circle of battling those pesky ailments never ends! 🔄💊 #HealingWoes"
6 months ago
Share →: My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Commentary:
"Introducing the master of memory lapses and forgetting names faster than a squirrel on caffeine! 🤷‍♂️💥 Say hello to the Forget-Me-Not King/Queen! 🤣👑 #NameGameStrong"
6 months ago
Share →: You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Commentary:
"Remember, folks, breaking and entering is not the recommended method of getting to know your neighbors 👀🚪🕵️‍♂️. Stick to a friendly chat over the fence instead! 😅🏡 #NeighborhoodWatch #PersonalSpace"
6 months ago
Share →: So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Commentary:
"Apparently, the stress ball is meant for squishing, not launching! 🤔 Maybe we should stick to deep breaths instead of aiming for accuracy. 😂 #stressmanagementgoneawry"
6 months ago
Share →: Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Commentary:
"Attempting to drop online humor bombs on offline folks is like offering a floppy disk at an iPhone convention 🤷‍♂️. It's a comedy interweb hiccup in an analog world! 📶🌐 #LostInTranslation"
6 months ago
Share →: You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old conundrum of the deceptive ‘stache! 🧐 It’s like a tiny, wiggly curtain trying to hide the true face behind it. 🎭 Beware the mustache charlatans, for their upper lip abode may not be what it seems! 🕵️‍♂️👨"
6 months ago
Share →: You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wonderful world of assumptions – where we become expert storytellers about people we barely know! 🤔💭 Remember, just because you've crafted a masterpiece in your mind, doesn't make it true! 🎭😄"
6 months ago
Share →: I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Commentary:
"Everyone has their own unique morning routine…some just have a little more urgency! 🚓😂 #FashionPolice #MorningRush"
6 months ago
Share →: For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic birthday wish – to bask in a shower of love and compliments! 🎉🥳🎈 Nothing says "celebration" quite like a thorough appraisal of your fabulousness, right? Just make sure to have some tissues on standby for the tears of joy and the occasional eye roll from your friends. After all, it's your special day, and what better way to indulge in a bit of self-love than by demanding it from others? 😜
6 months ago
Share →: People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'just be yourself' advice – because apparently, being a chaotic bundle of contradictions is exactly what the world needs more of! 🙃 Embrace the quirky, slightly off-kilter charm of being YOU – it's not for everyone, but hey, who wants to be just like everyone else anyway? 😉✨"