252 funny tell quotes - Page 7 - Wordgag

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Mar 28, 2026

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Mar 28, 2026

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Mar 28, 2026

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Mar 27, 2026

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Mar 27, 2026

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Mar 27, 2026

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Mar 27, 2026

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Mar 27, 2026

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Mar 27, 2026

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Mar 27, 2026

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Mar 27, 2026

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Mar 27, 2026