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173 Funny today quotes

More funny today quotes 👇

  • Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

    Commentary:
    “When you realize that interns are basically tomorrow’s procrastination solution, we’re living in the future! 🚀🤓 #DelegationMaster”

  • I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

    Commentary:
    “Proof that even lazy birds can live the dream! 🐦🪱💤 #TeamBrunchBird”

  • I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

    Commentary:
    “Probably writing another hit about how she needs to call her BFF… and yes, that’s you! 😂🎶 #SwiftSquad”

  • Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

    Commentary:
    “Good morning, fellow professional avoiders! 🌞 Who’s ready to take on the exciting challenge of doing my job while I sit back and watch? Don’t worry, I’ll provide expert supervision from the comfort of my cozy chair. Let’s see who will be the lucky winner today! 😂💼 #WorkSmartNotHard”

  • I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

    Commentary:
    “Tomorrow? Oh, you mean that mythical land where I have my life together? 🤷‍♂️ Who needs plans when you can just wing it and hope for the best, am I right? 😅 #LivingInTheMoment”

  • Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a crystal ball 🔮 when you’ve got such confident dating advice? Live in the moment and pucker up, folks! 💋 Carpe diem(or rather, carpe kiss’em)! 😘💫”

  • Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

    Commentary:
    “Seize the flirting opportunities like there’s no tomorrow! 😉 Who knows, your future might just be a flirty fairy tale waiting to happen! 💫 #LiveLifeFlirtiliciously”

  • I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

    Commentary:
    “Promises made after a night of regrets and headaches! 🍻😅 #JustOneMoreTime #TheStruggleIsReal”

  • I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

    Commentary:
    🤣💸 We all know the struggle of trying to resist the tempting call of Amazon Prime! Who needs food and shelter when you can have another package delivered, right? #RetailTherapy #ByeByeSavings

  • Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

    Commentary:
    “Trying to be a responsible adult is like trying to parallel park a tank – ambitious, but ultimately just ends in chaos and a lot of frustrated honking. 🚗😅 #AdultingFail”

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