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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Making waves on Instagram:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Just landed via Facebook:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Going viral on Reddit:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Making waves on Messenger:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Funny townspeople quotes

New funny townspeople quotes 👇

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

2 weeks ago

estate, fear, goth, haunted, humor, lifestyle, live, townspeople, urge, Victorian

All funny townspeople quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

88 shares on Telegram this month:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

49 shares on X this month:

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Spotted on Slack:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Spotted on TikTok:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Spotted on Discord:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Trending via Reddit:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Making waves on Facebook:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

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Funny townspeople quotes

New funny townspeople quotes 👇

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

All funny townspeople quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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