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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

1 hour ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Breaking via Reddit:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Reported on Slack:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Making waves on Threads:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Freshly posted on Discord:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Just landed via Messenger:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Home » Funny Twins Quotes

Funny twins quotes

Funny twins quotes bring double the laughs and twice the mischief! 😂👯‍♂️ Whether you’re a twin or just love their quirky bond, these playful sayings capture the unique, hilarious connection only twins share. From mix-ups to matching antics, get ready to giggle and celebrate that special twin magic! ✨🤣 #TwinLife #DoubleTrouble

New funny twins quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Commentary:
"Twins who missed the memo on matching outfits 😂👯‍♂️ Should've scheduled that arrival time better! ⏰"
5 months ago
Share →: When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Commentary:
👯‍♂️ "When you run into twins, make sure to address the CEO of the duo! 🤣 Who knows, the one in charge might have all the twin-spired wisdom and authority! Double the trouble, double the fun, double the bossiness?"
6 months ago
Share →: You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Commentary:
How about Kate and DupliKate for your dynamic duo! 👯‍♀️ Double the trouble, double the fun! Just be sure to keep an eye out for any case of mistaken identity 😉👯‍♀️ #TwinningAndWinning
6 months ago
Share →: Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Commentary:
"Who needs twin telepathy when you have bills to pay and work deadlines to meet? 🙅‍♂️👯‍♂️ #AdultingStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Commentary:
"Spotted: a double dose of doppelgangers causing a commotion in public! Looks like the rumor about 'twin-cest' is real… 🙈 Double the trouble, double the fun! Just don't start finishing each other's sentences, or we might need to call in the doppel-police! 🚔 #Twinsanity"
6 months ago
Share →: When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Commentary:
"Are your twins natural?" 🤖 Oh, no no, they're actually state-of-the-art, fully-functional robots! 🤖👶🤖 Who needs natural when you have technological wonders at home? 🤣 #RoboticParenting #TwinsOrTerminators
6 months ago
Share →: My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Commentary:
"Sorry twins, you'll have to take turns applying at this company! We're all about unique individuals here 😉👯‍♂️ #NoTwinningAllowed"

For even more funny twins quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny twins quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

1 hour ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Reported on Snapchat:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Live now on X:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Going viral on WeChat:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Just shared via Messenger:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

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