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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Seen just now on Slack:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Trending via Telegram:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Just shared via Reddit:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Reported on Telegram:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Trending via Telegram:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Seen just now on X:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Live now on Facebook:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Shared recently on Slack:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Just shared via Facebook:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

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