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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

50 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Reported on Reddit:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Going viral on X:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Seen just now on X:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Just landed via Discord:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Making waves on Messenger:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Home » Funny Unexpected Quotes » Page 9

87 Funny unexpected quotes

More funny unexpected quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Commentary:
Looks like that pen in the junk drawer decided to rise from its slumber like a grumpy old dragon guarding its treasure! 🐉✒️ Watch out, folks, we've got a feisty pen on the loose! Shepherd it back into the writing world with a bit of humor and a dash of ink therapy! 🖊️😅
6 months ago
Share →: Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Commentary:
"Looks like the fans were too eager to catch some 'foul' balls instead of throwing actual punches! 🥊⚾️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic toothpaste vs. drink battle – a timeless matchup indeed 🦷🚫🥤! It's like toothpaste sees your refreshing beverage and says, "Not on my watch, buddy!" 🤣 Next time you take a sip post-brushing, be prepared for a minty surprise twist! #ToothpasteVsDrinkBattle
6 months ago
Share →: I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Commentary:
"Surprise! I'm the secret level boss of crazy you never knew you needed to defeat! 🤪🎮 Who knew there were extra levels of craziness waiting to be unlocked! 🤯🔓 Get ready for some unexpected plot twists in this game of life! 🎭🕹️"
6 months ago
Share →: People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Celebrities defy expectations by not following your daily death predictions! Stay tuned for more shocking revelations 🤯📺 #ExpectTheUnexpected"
6 months ago
Share →: Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Commentary:
Well, talk about adding some unexpected flavor to your hair flip! 🧖‍♀️💨🍔 Looks like someone's bringing a whole new meaning to the term "fast food." 😂 #UnexpectedSnack #OnionRingSurprise
6 months ago
Share →: Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Commentary:
"Looks like the future didn't see this coming! 🔮🚫 Who could have predicted this plot twist? Now we'll never know what the crystal ball had in store for us! 😅 #UnexpectedTwists"

For even more funny unexpected quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny unexpected quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

50 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Trending via WeChat:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Going viral on Instagram:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Live now on X:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Reported on Telegram:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Going viral on Slack:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Trending via Discord:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Spotted on Pinterest:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

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