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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

1 minute ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Just shared via Discord:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Just shared via Reddit:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Trending via Slack:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Trending via Pinterest:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Breaking via Discord:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Home » Funny Unicorn Quotes

Funny unicorn quotes

Funny unicorn quotes bring a whimsical touch to the magical world of these mythical creatures. 🦄😄 From witty remarks about unicorn adventures to playful jabs at their sparkly charm, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of all things unicorn. Enjoy a laugh and revel in the fun of these fantastical beings! 😂✨

New funny unicorn quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the rare and elusive 'kids who listen' – quite the mythical creature indeed, rumored to be even more mysterious than a unicorn that pays its bills on time!"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Commentary:
"Who needs a drug mule when you can have a majestic drug unicorn prancing through the underground world like a sparkly harbinger of illegal substances? 🌈🦄 Just imagine the glittery trail it leaves behind as it delivers its magical payloads. Move over, mules, it's all about the fabulous unicorns now!"
6 months ago
Share →: Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Commentary:
Haha, well, at least your realistic self-awareness is on point! 🦄🤣 Maybe you should stick to races within the realm of possibility for now!

For even more funny unicorn quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny unicorn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

1 minute ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Trending via WeChat:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Breaking via YouTube:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Trending via X:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Seen just now on Threads:

Netflix & by yourself.

Reported on Telegram:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

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