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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Trending via Pinterest:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Just landed via Facebook:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

26 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Coffee is just goth water.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Just shared via Instagram:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Just shared via Pinterest:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Going viral on Threads:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Spotted on Threads:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Making waves on X:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

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