Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Seen just now on Instagram:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Seen just now on X:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Spotted on Facebook:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Just landed via Slack:

My parents think they know me.

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

2 months ago

0

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the elusive cameraman – the unsung hero of every zombie apocalypse! 🧟‍♂️🎥 One might say they have a knack for staying 'behind the scenes' in more ways than one! Who knew zombies had a soft spot for those behind the lens? 🤔😂 #ZombieLogic"

cameraman, film, horror, humor, irony, movy, never, observation, thing, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

0

2 months ago

communication, emotion, expression, face, face reading, facial, facial expression, honesty, humor, i, keep, mouth, read, reading, sarcasm, shut, subtitles
70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

0

2 months ago

am, bullshit, drowning, frustration, here, humor, i, irony, planet, sarcasm, water
Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, big, ears, great, hair, humor, shout, shout out, wind
Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

0

2 months ago

coping, day, facade, feelings, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, reality, scream, smile
Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

0

2 months ago

encouragement, humor, listen, little, password, security, strong, technology
Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

0

2 months ago

financial, Friday, humor, i, jail, joke, just, own, responsibility, self-assessment, tax

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

60 shares on Discord this month:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

11 shares on X this month:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

57 shares on Slack this month:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

66 shares on Slack this month:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

76 shares on Threads this month:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Making waves on Facebook:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Just landed via YouTube:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Making waves on Reddit:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Just landed via WeChat:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Making waves on TikTok:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Just shared via Discord:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴