Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Just landed via Instagram:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Just shared via Instagram:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Breaking via Threads:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Going bananas on X:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Midwest gang initiations are no joke 🥔🥣 Better hope you like potato salad – or else you might be in a real pickle! 😂 #MidwestTough"

challenge, eat, food, food challenge, gang, gang initiation, humor, initiation, Midwest, potato, potato salad, regional, regional stereotype, salad, stereotype

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

0

2 months ago

40, adulthood, age, birthday, drinks, hangover, humor, i, know, last, morning, night, oh, online, online shopping, regret, shopping, socks, thinking, woke
Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

0

2 months ago

advice, bed, death, death bed, expression, feel, feelings, finger, humor, know, let, life, life advice, middle, middle finger, raise, regret, too, wait
Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

0

2 months ago

boss, family, family joke, final, final boss, humor, incompetence, joke, literally, sibling, sibling humor, siblings, weaponized, weaponized incompetence, youngest, youngest sibling
My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, identity, name, rapper, rapper name, stress, wordplay
Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

0

2 months ago

activity, ask, ball, bowling, bowling ball, fun, fun activity, gift, gift idea, girlfriend, give, humor, idea, personalized, personalized gift, relationship, ring, ring size, size, surprise
At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

0

2 months ago

ambition, colleagues, crime, documentary, humor, manage, me, Netflix, own, point, true, true crime, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on X this month:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

54 shares on X this month:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Trending via YouTube:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Live now on Twitch:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Trending via Pinterest:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Making waves on TikTok:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Shared recently on YouTube:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨