Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.
  • Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?
  • I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.
  • Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”
  • My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.
  • Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.