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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

372 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,641

Funny Quotes Topics

17,685

Funny Quotes Images

15,641

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Live now on WhatsApp:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Shared recently on Threads:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hope this email kills us both.

Making waves on Threads:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Going viral on Slack:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Shared recently on Threads:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Shared recently on Messenger:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”
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Commentary:
"Good morning, rebels who refuse to be tamed by society's norms and institutions! 🌞 Just remember, sometimes saying 'no, no, no' to rehab might actually be the right choice… unless you're talking about 'rehab' for your addiction to hitting the snooze button on Monday mornings! 😜⏰ Stay strong and keep dancing to your own tune! 💃🕺"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

59 shares on Discord this month:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

83 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

372 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,641

Funny Quotes Topics

17,685

Funny Quotes Images

15,641

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Going viral on Instagram:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Just shared via X:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Going viral on Instagram:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Just shared via Discord:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Breaking via Telegram:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

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