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Commentary:
"Who you gonna call? 📞 👻 Ghostbusters or Halloween enthusiasts? 😂 Nothing says festive like disappearing into thin air! Just another perk of the spooktacular season! 🎃👻 #HalloweenHumor"

being, blame, day, festive, ghost, Halloween, humor, relationships, social, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

0

5 months ago

break, cheese, focus, food, humor, relaxation, taking, thinking, time, time off
When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

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2 months ago

fighting, hockey, i, last, Oreo, over, pretend, watch
If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

0

1 month ago

dystopia, dystopian, future, hell, housekeeping, humor, living, nightmare, robot, technology, where
Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

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2 months ago

clothing, crop, crop top, heat, honey, honey pot, humor, idea, pooh, pot, right, summer, top, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, world
Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, bottle, butterfly, chugging, coping, coping mechanism, drinking, feel, humor, i, mechanism, nervousness, next, tequila, time
“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

0

2 months ago

crazy, emotional, emotional struggle, everyone, health, honesty, humor, i, lost, mental, mental health, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecation, struggle, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

76 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Spotted on Reddit:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Breaking via Discord:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Just shared via Twitch:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Trending via Telegram:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Spotted on TikTok:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨