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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Things will be fine, eventuallyโ€”in thousands of yearsโ€”for rocks.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Many fruits can be great namesโ€ฆ but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetableโ€ฆ.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,778

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Facebook:

Not arguing with people anymore, Iโ€™m just gonna say โ€œit makes sense that you would think thatโ€.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Just shared via Facebook:

โ€œAt your big ageโ€ is one of my favorite insults.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Thereโ€™ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Live now on YouTube:

I hate to brag, but Iโ€™ve been the biggest mistake of numerous peopleโ€™s lives.

Breaking via X:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Making waves on YouTube:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasnโ€™t even Thursday.

Just shared via Pinterest:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Witty quote about waiting for a magical appearance, playful and humorous in tone.
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Commentary:
"Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to dazzle me with your radiant presence? ๐ŸŒŒโœจ Maybe you're just taking the scenic route through the galaxies before making your grand entrance!"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

68 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Somebody should market a beer called โ€œOccasionallyโ€. So when asked, I can say, โ€œI only drink occasionallyโ€.

78 shares on X this month:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where theyโ€™re coming from.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, โ€œMay this love never find me,โ€ every time thereโ€™s a slight conflict.

93 shares on X this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

98 shares on X this month:

Yโ€™all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

46 shares on Threads this month:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

35 shares on X this month:

Talking to animals doesnโ€™t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

45 shares on Discord this month:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Whenever Iโ€™m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

We should all go into advertising and fix whatโ€™s going on with commercials. They need our help.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone โ€œheโ€™ll yeahโ€ ..

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Got an email from my bank saying โ€œis your 401k enough to retire onโ€ and itโ€™s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

I donโ€™t like to call it a xenomorph โ€” I prefer the term โ€œthe alien from Alien.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

People will be like โ€œthere is no right or wrong way to do itโ€ until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: that โ€œteenagerโ€over there is actually 27.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

You know youโ€™re getting old when youโ€™re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like youโ€™re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via WeChat:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Going viral on Reddit:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Going viral on Facebook:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Going viral on WeChat:

Your coworker is not hot; theyโ€™re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Seen just now on Reddit:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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