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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting to convey a fiery sentiment without actually setting anything ablaze 🔥. Maybe just politely suggest they take a long stroll in a lava pit? 🚶‍♂️🌋"

communication, conflict, die, fire, humor, i, irony, respect, sarcasm, someone, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

0

2 months ago

ceremony, final, final rose, humor, rose, rose ceremony, roses, sarcasm, thank, thank you
High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

0

3 months ago

awkward, catch, crazy, crush, glimpse, hell, high, high school, i, just, love, memory, over, running, school, teenager, why
FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

0

2 months ago

exclusive, Facetime, humor, joke, me, media, membership, only, platinum, social, social media, tech
College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

0

2 months ago

bible, college, escape, even, frustration, here, humor, life, me, once, somebody, student, student life
Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

0

2 months ago

50s, aging, health, humor, joints, meteorologists, welcome, wisdom
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

0

2 months ago

amount, attitude, cash, confidence, dollar, gas, gas station, here, humor, humor quote, imagine, just, me, money, over, sarcasm, station, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on X this month:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

89 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

73 shares on X this month:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

19 shares on Slack this month:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Just shared via Discord:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Live now on Snapchat:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Spotted on WeChat:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨