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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting to convey a fiery sentiment without actually setting anything ablaze 🔥. Maybe just politely suggest they take a long stroll in a lava pit? 🚶‍♂️🌋"

communication, conflict, die, fire, humor, i, irony, respect, sarcasm, someone, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

1 month ago
food, humor, i, large, none, pizza, poem, red, relationship, roses, roses are red, sauce, snack, too
It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

1 month ago
animal, fan, heatwave, hot, humor, i, just, nature, nut, nuts, saw, squirrel, summer
Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

4 months ago
crazy, discovery, every, first time, humor, literature, oh, origin, page, quote origin, reading, Shakespeare, time, where
It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

1 month ago
fangs, floss, hard, humor, hygiene, irony, mirror, reflection, vampire
50 shades of single.

2 months ago
50, dating, humor, relationship, shades, single
The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

1 month ago
coffee, eating, economy, food, grass, here, humor, joke, matcha, people, satire, tough

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

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Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

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There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

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Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

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Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

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Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

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If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

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Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

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I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

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The older I get, no.

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I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

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Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

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Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

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Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

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How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

50 shades of single.

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

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How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

50 shades of single.

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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