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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

27 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Trending via Twitch:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Trending via X:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Just landed via Threads:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Just landed via Slack:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Trending via Facebook:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Making waves on Reddit:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Going viral on TikTok:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

6 months ago

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🧐 Ah, the moment of realization that not everyone sees the world through the lens of binary code and green cascading characters – a Matrix-grade plot twist in real life! 🕶️💻 Who knew dodging bullets and defying gravity was part of the everyday grind for some of us? 😉 Welcome to the reality where red pills are usually just cold and flu medication! 🌐🚫 #MatrixRealizations

age, awareness, humor, matrix, old, others, perception, realization

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

27 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Just shared via YouTube:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Spotted on X:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Spotted on Reddit:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Shared recently on Threads:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Going viral on Reddit:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

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