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Commentary:
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. 🌿🦊 Who knew veggies could be the silent enemies all along? Watch out, broccoli, I've got my eyes on you!"

am, animals, hate, humor, i, irony, love, plant, plants, vegetarian

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82 shares on X this month:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

93 shares on TikTok this month:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

48 shares on X this month:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

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Going viral on LinkedIn:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Going viral on Facebook:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Seen just now on Threads:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨