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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Trending via Telegram:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Making waves on Reddit:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Just shared via X:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Making waves on WeChat:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

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I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone took "digesting information" a bit too literally! 📝🍴🤓 Who knew passing a test could involve actual consumption? Let's hope the brain food pays off with an A+ in the end! 🤞🏆😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Discord this month:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

42 shares on Discord this month:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

97 shares on Threads this month:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,250

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Making waves on Threads:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Going viral on Twitch:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Going viral on X:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Making waves on Telegram:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Making waves on TikTok:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

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