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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Just shared via Facebook:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Just shared via Reddit:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Just shared via Slack:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Just shared via Discord:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Making waves on X:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Witty text about social media and marriage humorously highlighting cluelessness.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Taking a break from social media can really open your eyes to the world around you – like the realization that you're still somehow legally bound to another human being. Who knew that scrolling through endless cat videos could distract you from checking in on your own love life?"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

44 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

21 shares on Facebook this month:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

66 shares on X this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

46 shares on X this month:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

22 shares on Threads this month:

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Just shared via Messenger:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Going bananas on Messenger:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Making waves on Pinterest:

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Going viral on Snapchat:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

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