I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.