Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Just landed via Instagram:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Just landed via Instagram:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Trending via Slack:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Going viral on Twitch:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Trending via Twitch:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Making waves on Messenger:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

2 weeks ago

Witty text about exclusive content, playful tone, humorous message about sexy readers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, well, well, aren't you just the smooth expert of linguistic seduction! 😏💋 Your words just sashayed right into our hearts…or should I say, 'eyes'! Congratulations on decoding this covert message meant only for the truly irresistible minds out there! 😉 #WordsmithOfSeduction"

composition, congratulations, flattery, humor, i, post, read, sexy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

47 shares on Threads this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

93 shares on Discord this month:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

40 shares on Slack this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Just landed via Threads:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Going viral on WeChat:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Breaking via Telegram:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

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