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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

17 minutes ago

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Making waves on Telegram:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Trending via Discord:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Live now on Slack:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

4 months ago

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

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Commentary:
Sounds like someone is really taking that carefree attitude to the next level! 🤷‍♂️💁‍♂️ It seems like he's making sure everyone knows just how little he cares. Maybe he's just trying to stay zen in a chaotic world, or maybe he's just really good at pushing people's buttons! 😂 #ZeroCaresGiven

again, attitude, care, humor, i, media, post, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

17 minutes ago

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Making waves on Reddit:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Trending via Messenger:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Making waves on Threads:

January is the Monday of the year.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Making waves on TikTok:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

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