Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • They should name a personality disorder after me.
  • You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)
  • I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.
  • Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.
  • We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.
  • If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.