Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.
  • Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.
  • Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.
  • I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.
  • The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.
  • Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.