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Commentary:
"Looks like someone is ready to sweep away the drama like last year's confetti! 🎉 Better apologize now or prepare for a year of being ghosted faster than you can say 'resolution'! 🚫✨ #NewYearNewMe"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

1 month ago
aliens, Apollo, apology, calling, humor, Nasa, satellite, say, science, sorry, space
Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

1 month ago
brightness, children, family, home, humor, light, lights, never, turn
Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

1 month ago
humor, humorist, illegal, joke, media, posts, relationship, sarcasm, serious, seriousness, silliness, silly, social, social media, talk, wife
I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

1 month ago
every, frantic, glasses, great, i, morning, need, search, thing
When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

1 month ago
adult, bed, bedtime, childhood, early, food, goal, goals, home, humor, junk, junk food, kid, nap, parenting, punishment, realization, realize, snack, stay, stay home, take
Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

2 weeks ago
daily, daily habit, fine, guy, habit, humor, i, moderation, smoking, think, weed

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Going viral on X:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Going viral on Facebook:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Just landed via Discord:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Breaking via Discord:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

A Monday every week is excessive.

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

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I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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