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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Trending via WeChat:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Breaking via Instagram:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Making waves on WeChat:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Just shared via WeChat:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Going viral on Messenger:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of free speech: where the quirky, zany, and downright bonkers have their moment to shine! 🤪 Letting crazy people talk just means giving them a chance to showcase their unique brand of absurdity. 🤣 Embrace the madness and enjoy the show! 🎭"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

46 shares on Discord this month:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Making waves on YouTube:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Trending via Pinterest:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Live now on X:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Spotted on X:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

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