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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

11 seconds ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Just shared via YouTube:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Making waves on Discord:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Making waves on Reddit:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

6 months ago

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of free speech: where the quirky, zany, and downright bonkers have their moment to shine! 🤪 Letting crazy people talk just means giving them a chance to showcase their unique brand of absurdity. 🤣 Embrace the madness and enjoy the show! 🎭"

crazy, enjoy, freedom, freedom of speech, i, let, people, speech, talk, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

11 seconds ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Making waves on Threads:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Making waves on Discord:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Spotted on WeChat:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Trending via Twitch:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

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