I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.