Trendy Funny Quotes

  • No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.
  • You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.
  • The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.
  • The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.
  • The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.
  • When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.