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Commentary:
"Adding glasses to your daily morning routine – because having just your keys, phone, and sanity to find wasn't challenging enough 🤓🔍 #MorningSearchMission"

every, frantic, glasses, great, i, morning, need, search, thing

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93 shares on Snapchat this month:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

84 shares on Discord this month:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

100 shares on Slack this month:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

44 shares on Discord this month:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Making waves on Messenger:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Just landed via TikTok:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Making waves on TikTok:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Spotted on Twitch:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨