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Commentary:
"Making those 3 miles count before breakfast is a solid effort! 🚗🏃‍♂️ Who needs more driving when you've already covered so much ground in the morning? Time to park that car and put your feet up! 🛋️😆"

activity, before, breakfast, day, driving, exercise, humor, i, miles, morning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

1 month ago
family, family vacation, home, trip, vacation
My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

1 month ago
calligrapher, comparison, dad, family, handwriting, humor, pharmacist, writing
Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

1 month ago
date, dress, dress up, expectations, funny situation, guess, humor, i, interview, okay, romantic, situation, weird
Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

1 month ago
adult, functioning, humor, identity, interpretation, loose, welcome
80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

1 month ago
bring, daily, daily struggle, decision, humor, i, jacket, just, life, should, struggle, thought, uncertainty, weather
As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

1 month ago
around, daughter, hang, i, lady, let, mother, never, pigeon, place, station, young

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Shared recently on Threads:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Trending via Twitch:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Just landed via TikTok:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You’re so productive for your wage.

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Activity Log ✨

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

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I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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