Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.
  • Having children is a pyramid scheme.
  • One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.
  • The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.
  • The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?
  • How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?