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Commentary:
"Debt collectors really know how to hold a grudge, huh? 😂 It's like they never forget that one time you missed a payment five years ago! 📅💸 Let's hope they have a better memory for their own birthdays! 🎉🤣"

collector, debt, hate, humor, i, let, past, people, sarcasm, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

1 month ago
able, barista, everyday, everyday life, Google, i, information, life, media, normal, normal people, people, should, social, social media, technology, Wikipedia
If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

1 month ago
chaos, clothes, exorcism, humor, idea, parenting, struggle, toddler, try
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

1 month ago
baking, baking sheet, cooking, cooking show, fit, food, fridge, humor, kitchen, room, sheet, show, shows, space, unrealistic
Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

1 month ago
behavior, dance, dancing, humor, others, reciprocity, social, social behavior, twerk
Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

1 month ago
current, current events, dystopian, events, fiction, humor, media, needs, news, satire, watch
My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

1 month ago
alone, body, desire, dollars, fantasy, humor, leaving, me, million, money, naked, sexual, someone, throwing, wealth

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

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Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

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Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

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I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

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It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

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I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

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Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

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Trending via YouTube:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Live now on Twitch:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Broadcasted on X:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Live now on Twitch:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

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Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Trending via TikTok:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

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I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve disappointed better people.

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

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I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

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