‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.