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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Going viral on Threads:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Shared recently on Threads:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Spotted on Twitch:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Just landed via Slack:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Going viral on Slack:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

2 months ago

0

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living that rollercoaster life with our finances like 🎢💸💨 One minute you're feeling like a financial wizard, the next you're wondering where did it all go?! Remember, money can disappear faster than your favorite snack in a busy office breakroom! 😂💸 #WalletWhirlwind"

fast, financial, humor, i, life, money, spending

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

0

2 months ago

believe, difference, everything, Facebook, generational, generational difference, humor, internet, irony, media, parent, parents, social, social media, trust
They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

0

2 months ago

fun, humor, invent, leisure, relaxation, should, slow, time, weekend, wish
Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

0

2 months ago

cooking, everyday, everyday life, everyone, expectations, failure, genius, humor, life, microwave, reality, someone, technology, try
That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, birthday, drop, drop off, inside, invite, moment, panic, party, situation, social, social situation, start, surprise, thought
I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

0

2 months ago

along, am, day, easy, exactly, expectations, fun, fun person, humor, i, imagination, interruption, layout, person, planned, planning, variation
Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

0

5 months ago

beach, close, comfort, experience, feeling, human, nap, never, post, post-beach, relaxation, serenity, shower, throw, touch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

70 shares on X this month:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

69 shares on Reddit this month:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,290

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Making waves on Instagram:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Just shared via WeChat:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Just landed via Telegram:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Spotted on Facebook:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Spotted on Facebook:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Seen just now on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Going viral on X:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

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