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Commentary:
"Ah, the rare creature who finds work as fascinating as binge-watching Netflix. If only we could all be so easily entertained by spreadsheets and emails. Perhaps we should all take a lesson from this work enthusiast and learn to appreciate the art of procrastination… I mean, productivity."

fascination, humor, irony, leisure, me, observation, procrastination, productivity, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

2 months ago

animals, biblical, humor, i, Noah, perspective, realize, wisdom, world
I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

1 month ago

card, credit, credit card, debt, finance, humor, irresponsibly, joke, money, spending, used
I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

1 month ago

book, chapters, couple, creativity, humor, i, murder, mystery, only, plot, plot twist, sarcasm, twist, writing
It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

1 month ago

celebration, day, expectations, Groundhog, holiday, humor, i, love, ok, relationship, single, Valentine
I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

1 month ago

disinformation, humor, i, irony, joke, lie, politics, remember, satire, truth, used
Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

2 months ago

dad, exaggeration, hard, humor, i, loud, parenting, sneeze, think

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

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Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

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I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

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The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

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My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Trending via Facebook:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Live now on Discord:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Spotted on YouTube:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Just landed via Instagram:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

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I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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