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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

4 minutes ago

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Seen just now on Slack:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Making waves on Telegram:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Live now on Messenger:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Freshly posted on X:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Trending via Facebook:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

5 months ago

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare creature who finds work as fascinating as binge-watching Netflix. If only we could all be so easily entertained by spreadsheets and emails. Perhaps we should all take a lesson from this work enthusiast and learn to appreciate the art of procrastination… I mean, productivity."

fascination, humor, irony, leisure, me, observation, procrastination, productivity, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

4 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Making waves on Messenger:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Making waves on Snapchat:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Live now on Instagram:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Just landed via Messenger:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

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