Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Breaking via Reddit:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Just landed via Slack:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Making waves on Facebook:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Breaking via YouTube:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Spotted on Messenger:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about losing composure long ago, with a playful and humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, so it's been a "missing composure" case since '92? 🕵️‍♂️ Sounds like it's pulling off a great disappearing act! Maybe it's hanging out with those missing socks somewhere… 🧦😄 Who needs composure anyways when you have charm and wit in abundance, right? 💁‍♂️ #ComposureMystery

1992, composure, humor, i, loss, lost, memory, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

34 shares on Slack this month:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh good. Another day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Breaking via YouTube:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Making waves on Reddit:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Spotted on Discord:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Going viral on Telegram:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Spotted on Instagram:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Making waves on Twitch:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

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