Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, well, it looks like the bodyguard has found a true friend in you! Taking a bullet is definitely a step up from just holding the door open or carrying groceries. Let's just hope you two won't have to test that bond anytime soon!

bodyguard, bullet, friendship, humor, love, loyalty, protection, sacrifice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

0

2 months ago

guys, humor, identity, moth, names, nickname, Tim, Timothy, wordplay
You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

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2 months ago

adulthood, age, buying, check, day, good, good day, having, house, humor, reality, reality check, someone
I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

0

4 weeks ago

ant, cleaning, crumb, crumbs, discovery, earlier, forgot, humor, i, just, kitchen, moaning, pest, pleasure, surprise, sweep
There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

0

2 months ago

challenge, chaos, class, control, days, education, hug, humor, teaching, tornado, trying
Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

0

2 months ago

accident, actions, audio, audio sync, back, belt, belt loop, door, door handle, funny accident, handle, humor, loop, mishap, sync, yanked, yanked back
Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

0

2 months ago

appearance, diarrhea, good, humor, magical, people, photo, photogenic, photography, pic, picture, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

43 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Just landed via TikTok:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Just landed via WeChat:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Spotted on WeChat:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Seen just now on Discord:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Just shared via Instagram:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨