Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, well, it looks like the bodyguard has found a true friend in you! Taking a bullet is definitely a step up from just holding the door open or carrying groceries. Let's just hope you two won't have to test that bond anytime soon!

bodyguard, bullet, friendship, humor, love, loyalty, protection, sacrifice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

2 months ago

20s, adulthood, attachment, haunt, humor, life, memory, people, person, relationship, rest, twenty
They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

2 months ago

back, banh, banh mi, comeback, food, foodie, humor, i, joke, life, mi, never, pho, restaurant, said, spot, Vietnamese
I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

2 months ago

activity, buying, choice, convince, decision, decision making, desire, fun, fun activity, humor, i, impulsive, indulgence, jetski, keep, life, life choice, living, making, me, need, recreational, someone, temptation
Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

3 months ago

alone, bro, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, hell, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, me, social, social interaction, work
Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

2 hours ago

activity, alive, anxiety, embarrassing, embarrassment, everyone, humor, life, social, social anxiety, survival, swimming, want
I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

2 months ago

adulthood, after, age, anywhere, going, going out, humor, i, never, parents, understand, understanding, wanted, where, why, work

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

16 shares on X this month:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Just landed via Twitch:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Trending via Threads:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Shared recently on X:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Going viral on Instagram:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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