Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Just landed via Telegram:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Just shared via Reddit:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Just landed via X:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Just landed via X:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Making waves on WeChat:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Spotted on Messenger:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sarcasm – the art of punching people in the face, without getting your hands dirty! 💬🥊😏 #SavageWords"

communication, face, humor, i, love, people, punching, sarcasm, wit, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

0

4 months ago

another, bad, bad luck, canceled, cancellation, date, deserve, disappointment, excuse, guy, humor, i, irony, luck, relationship
McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

0

2 months ago

fast, fast food, food, good, good health, health, humor, irony, making, McDonald’s, promotion, unaffordable
If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, breathing, check, checkout, checkout line, close, humor, interaction, line, me, neck, pay, personal, personal space, sarcasm, shopping, situation, social, social interaction, space, stand, stuff, too, well
Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

0

2 months ago

2030, age, age difference, appearance, difference, feel, feeling, humor, just, millennials, old
I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

0

2 months ago

day, fake, humble, just, millionaires, parents, say, still, teach, waiting
‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, just, light, middle, night, song, turning, turning on light

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

10 shares on Discord this month:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Trending via Instagram:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Just landed via Discord:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Making waves on Pinterest:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨