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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Making waves on TikTok:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

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I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of the not-so-subtle villain monologue in disguise! 🦹‍♂️😏 It's like a game of 'Spot the Villain' where the clues are hidden in plain sight. It's all fun and games until you realize you're already in their evil master plan. 🤔😈 Stay alert, folks, you never know who might be spinning a sneaky narrative!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

36 shares on X this month:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

98 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Spotted on Threads:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Live now on Twitch:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Just landed via WeChat:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Breaking via Telegram:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Going viral on Reddit:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

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