Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like someone forgot to attend the rehearsal! 🎭💔 Keep calm and ad-lib on, maybe the improv will lead to an unexpected happy ending! 🌟😜

brain, expectations, humor, i, imagination, love, relationship, romance, romantic, scenario, script

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

0

5 months ago

center, data, data center, different, girlfriend, humor, joke, know, relationship, tech, tech joke
Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

0

2 months ago

arts, arts and craft, business, craft, crafts, Etsy, failed, failed business, farmers, farmers market, humor, market, millennials, satire, shopping, should, unloading, vegetables
When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

0

2 months ago

away, disgust, embarrass, kids, mutter, public, raised, turn
Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

0

5 months ago

actually, astrology, demon, frustration, humor, Mercury, Mercury retrograde, midnight, retrograde, soul, wrap
The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

0

2 months ago

cancellation, dopamine, fun, getting, hit, humor, irony, meeting, office, outlook, relief, work
A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

0

2 months ago

away, big, countertops, daily, daily life, home, humor, job, life, moving, parent, parenting, responsibility, safety, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

84 shares on X this month:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Going viral on Slack:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Going viral on Facebook:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Seen just now on Discord:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Shared recently on X:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Spotted on Reddit:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Spotted on Threads:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Making waves on YouTube:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨