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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has downloaded:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has copied:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

World domination? I donโ€™t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Making waves on WeChat:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Freshly posted on Threads:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Just shared via Threads:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Just landed via Reddit:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Just shared via X:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the selective memory at its finest! ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿด Holding on to grudges like it's the last piece of pizza in the fridge! ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ˜‚ Let's hope our fridge acts as a reminder and not a safe haven for forgotten intentions!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

My ego is bruised so Iโ€™m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

If Spotify has taught me anything, itโ€™s that I donโ€™t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

Iโ€™m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Need to clean the fridge, so Iโ€™m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Messenger:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Spotted on Discord:

Welcome to your 40โ€™s. You now have to second guess your age as you canโ€™t believe youโ€™re that old.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Spotted on Facebook:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that theyโ€™re mostly about t-shirts now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someoneโ€™s mind.

Going viral on Telegram:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Live now on WeChat:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Spotted on Instagram:

I donโ€™t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

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