Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Live now on Snapchat:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Live now on Snapchat:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Shared recently on Slack:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Freshly posted on Threads:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Just landed via Reddit:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Trending via Instagram:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

1 month ago

Witty text about feeling offended when skipped over for invites, humorous and playful.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the audacity of not being invited to events we didn't want to go to in the first place! 🙄 It's a true paradox – the perfect blend of FOMO and relief! 😂 Who says you can't have your cake and not eat it too? 🍰 #SelectiveSocializing"

i, invite, me, people, take, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody declines a call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

52 shares on Threads this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee is just goth water.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Going viral on Messenger:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Going viral on Discord:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Seen just now on Discord:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Spotted on X:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Just landed via Instagram:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Making waves on TikTok:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

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