I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.