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Commentary:
"Oh, the audacity of not being invited to events we didn't want to go to in the first place! 🙄 It's a true paradox – the perfect blend of FOMO and relief! 😂 Who says you can't have your cake and not eat it too? 🍰 #SelectiveSocializing"

i, invite, me, people, take, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’re my least favourite notification.

1 month ago

communication, digital, digital communication, favourite, humor, least, least favourite, message, notification, sarcasm, text, text message
I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

1 month ago

attitude, burnout, coworker, coworkers, descent, enthusiasm, giving, humor, i, love, motivation, new, office, slow, watch, work
Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

1 month ago

am, confusion, even, five, five years, future, humor, i, know, life, myself, present, right, self-reflection, uncertainty, where, year’s
Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

1 month ago

5, downloading, internet, internet speed, minutes, nostalgia, patience, progress, remember, song, speed, technology, under
At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

1 month ago

age, bathroom, early, getting, hold, humor, i, just, life, means, morning, pee
If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

5 months ago

anything, deadline, humor, ID, last, last minute, minute, motivation, never, procrastination, productivity

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Just shared via X:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Just landed via TikTok:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Broadcasted on X:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

You’re my least favourite notification.

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

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I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You’re my least favourite notification.

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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