Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Apparently, 'apple a day keeps the doctor away' only applies if you work at the fruit stand instead of the pharmaceutical company 🍏💊 #FruitfulThinking"

clear, company, fruits, humor, i, idea, irony, making, medicine, taste, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Telegram this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need a massage for my brain.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Making waves on Twitch:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Just shared via Reddit:

At least life has music.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨