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Commentary:
Oh, the waiting game champion! 🏆 Sitting pretty in a waiting room like a pro, armed with the ultimate weapon – my phone! 📱Who needs Netflix and chill when you can have Phone and Still? 😂 #WaitingRoomWarrior

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

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2 months ago

disappointment, fan, football, humor, kids, parenting, raising, right, rival, sports, think
Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

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2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, kids, mess, mirror, nice, over, shame, toothpaste
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

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2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, dog, humor, intelligence, pet, sled, snow
You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

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2 months ago

accent, American, American accent, fake, fake accent, humor, language, literally, pronunciation, slang, speech, want
Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

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2 months ago

abyss, being, effectiveness, existential, frustration, honesty, humor, humor quote, lost, screaming
Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

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2 months ago

entertainment, fact, fun, fun fact, humor, meant, reality, reality TV, satire, show, TV, us, 미국

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Making waves on Instagram:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Seen just now on Twitch:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Trending via Threads:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Going viral on YouTube:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨