Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
Oh, the sound of spaghetti noodles or your knees? 😂 Looks like your knees are staging an Italian pasta cooking show every time you navigate the stairs! 🍝🤣 Maybe they're just craving some marinara sauce for extra support!

aging, breaking, humor, i, knees, noise, prepared, someone, sound, spaghetti, stairs, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

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2 months ago

dad, energy, environmentalist, humor, i, lights, me, parenting, people, responsibility, turn, waste, yell
Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

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1 month ago

dislike, expression, facial, facial expression, fire, humor, i, imagination, just, mean, sarcasm, smile, smiling
Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

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2 months ago

advice, apart, breath, deep, deep breath, falling, feel, feeling, humor, life, life advice, perspective, remember, right, take, whenever, world
Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

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2 months ago

alone, detox, digital, digital detox, everyone, humor, i, introvert, log, log off, need, right, time
I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

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2 months ago

humor, i, irony, mistake, nothing, nothing wrong, procrastination, tried, try, wrong
Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

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3 months ago

communication, digital, digital life, distraction, humor, internet, life, mass, media, social, social media, technology, Twitter, weapon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am cassette tape years old.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

81 shares on Threads this month:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Shared recently on Twitch:

May the algorithms be with you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Live now on Messenger:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Just landed via Messenger:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Trending via TikTok:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨