Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Live now on Pinterest:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Just landed via Slack:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Making waves on Discord:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Breaking via Reddit:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Making waves on Twitch:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Spotted on YouTube:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

6 months ago

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of determining the seriousness of an event based on the beer prices 🍺💸! Remember, friends, when a beer starts costing as much as a fancy cocktail, you're definitely in for a musical extravaganza, not just a casual night out. Time to raise those pint glasses and let the concert begin! 🎶🍻"

activity, beer, concert, entertainment, fun, fun activity, humor, price, show

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Just landed via Discord:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Spotted on YouTube:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Going viral on Instagram:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Spotted on Instagram:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Just landed via X:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Going viral on Threads:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Broadcasted on X:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Breaking via Facebook:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴