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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Socks try to be monogamous but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

44 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Spotted on YouTube:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Shared recently on Discord:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Just landed via Telegram:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Just landed via Twitch:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Shared recently on Instagram:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

6 months ago

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of determining the seriousness of an event based on the beer prices 🍺💸! Remember, friends, when a beer starts costing as much as a fancy cocktail, you're definitely in for a musical extravaganza, not just a casual night out. Time to raise those pint glasses and let the concert begin! 🎶🍻"

activity, beer, concert, entertainment, fun, fun activity, humor, price, show

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

44 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Making waves on Twitch:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Making waves on X:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Seen just now on Slack:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Just shared via WeChat:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

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