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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,736

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Just landed via Pinterest:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Just landed via Threads:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Going viral on X:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Live now on Pinterest:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Spotted on TikTok:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If they kick off with 'First of all,' brace yourself for an epic battle of facts and figures! 📊💡😂 #ResearchWarrior"

argument, charts, data, humor, i, prepare, prepared, prove, research, run, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

1 month ago

anything, cauliflower, dream, dreams, food, give, humor, inspiration, motivation, noodle, noodles, pizza, too, want, zucchini
Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

1 month ago

ability, algorithm, betterment, chance, humanity, only, people, please, post, psionic, psionic ability, show
It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

1 month ago

amazing, attitude, both, cat, cats, ears, humor, ignore, ignoring, pet
“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

1 month ago

declaration, humor, likes, love, media, relationship, social, social media, story
Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

5 months ago

birthday, birthday wish, born, buying, celebration, gift, humor, i, myself, nice, personal, personal treat, self-care, shopping, something, today, treat, wish
Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

1 month ago

around, email, emails, history, humor, me, mess, procrastination, reply, response, work

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Just landed via YouTube:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Freshly posted on X:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Spotted on Slack:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

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If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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