Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Spotted on X:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Spotted on Reddit:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Seen just now on X:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If they kick off with 'First of all,' brace yourself for an epic battle of facts and figures! 📊💡😂 #ResearchWarrior"

argument, charts, data, humor, i, prepare, prepared, prove, research, run, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, doing, even, hair, humor, ingrown, question, self-reflection
My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

0

2 months ago

dating, delete, humor, me, media, online, online dating, post, posts, rejection, relationship, social, social media, soulmate
I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

0

2 months ago

20, argument, comments, day, discussion, hello, humor, humorist, i, media, online, online discussion, post, posting, social, social media
I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

0

2 months ago

activity, catch, catch up, humor, i, irony, jail, need, reading, time
Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

0

2 months ago

activity, box, childhood, fresh, fun, fun activity, jump, knees, nostalgia, play, remember, swing, used
Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

0

1 month ago

breath, humor, kiss, love, me, passion, romance, same, save, soul, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Twitch this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

39 shares on X this month:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

91 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Going bananas on Discord:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Making waves on YouTube:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Going viral on Discord:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨